Parent Teacher Conferences!

Unhealthy relationship with authority? check.
Love teachers? check.

Wish you could go back to first grade?

check check check check.

You may be different, of course…

Perhaps you prefer second or third grade? After that, though, it gets too damn complicated. Not the academics, but the biz about who likes the boys and listens to REO Speedwagon (FYI, you do not pronounce this–as is implied in the layout of its 1982 t-shirt–“SPEED REO WAGON.”)